Friday, September 25, 2009


Love Never Dies

"Life is a series of meetings and partings." A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

My uncle, Master Sargeant and Green Beret, Jack C. Flynn, "went home" last Thursday, Sept 24th. He loved and visited the family on Long Island whenever he could. He loved standing waist deep in the waters of the Great South Bay off Sayville or Blue Point, or Shelter Island, with a peck (small) basket buoyed by kiddie tube while he dug clams with his feet. He loved boating and fishing. He was a favorite uncle with easy going, carefree ways. When he was a kid, my grandmother took him to see a psychiatrist because he would put his clothes on inside out or backwards. Once he grabbed the wrong paper bag from the kitchen table and ate six plain Kaiser roles for lunch because it never occurred to him that he grabbed the bakery bag and not his lunch bag. The psychiatrist told his mother, "This boy is fine. He doesn't have a nerve in his body. Nothing bothers him, he'll outlive us all."

So the boy without a nerve in his body went on to become one of the small heroes in the Viet Nam War, there are so many. He was a combat Medic with the 82nd Airborne Division. A combat tour in Viet Nam lasted one year, if you survived, you went home. Jack is the only Viet Vet I know who voluntarily did a second tour in Nam. He was decorated many times, but his favorite accomplishment was written up in the Daily News when he organized the first Boy Scout Troop in Viet Nam. He said there were many half American children who had been rejected by their families and were beggers in the streets, he wanted to do something for them. With the help of a local Catholic Mission, he organized a Boy Scout Troop, and with some other soldiers, taught the boys how to help each other as a group in order to survive.

His highest decoration was won when he was in a Huey gunship, They spotted a troop of Viet Cong escorting six captured Americans through a rice paddy. The prisoners hands were in bound in front of them and they were all tied closely together with a rope from one waist to the next to make it nearly impossible to escape; two men tied together might have a chance at a run, but not six. The gunship lowered over the men, and the VC ran for cover where they could turn and fire at the gunship. Jack jumped out. He always carried a small axe. He said it came in handy many times. One this day, as they pulled in one man, the rope between he and the next man would pull tight over the landing rail on the helicopter and Jack hacked off the rope in one chop. One by one, with bullets flying, they got five of the men in. At that point, someone spotted a shouldered bazooka pointing at the ship. One well landed grenade would disable the helicopter. Jack looped his arm through the still tied hands of the last man and grabbed onto the landing rail with both of his hands and one leg. The Huey lifted with the last man looped around Jack's arm. Two soldiers inside leaned out and reinforced Jack's hold on the rail. In two minutes they cleared the immediate danger enough to land for a minute and get Jack and the last man safely inside. Jack had been grazed by three bullets. His shoulder had been dislocated from the weight of the soldier, but they all made it back. He only told that story to us once, and I never heard him ever speak of his combat experiences again.

During his second tour, he served with his cousin, Maj. Neil Sheehan, an RN. Officer and enlisted men aren't supposed to socialize, but it was useless trying to keep them apart despite the efforts of one of the commanding officers, a Lt. Colonel, on their post. Uncle Neilly told us that one time Jack and he were driving off base to Saigon for a three day leave. Jack was driving when the LTC saw them at the gate. He ordered the jeep stopped and Jack dutifully got out and stood at attention. The LTC was a "Point Man" (West Point Grad) and a stickler for formality. The LTC saw that the back of the jeep was lined with two Army blankets and a third blanket had been folded into a pillow. The LTC asked, "What's the hell is this?" Jack responded, "Mobile sleeping quarters for Maj. Sheehan, sir." To which the LTC yelled back, "You think the back of jeep is appropriate sleeping quarters for an officer?" Uncle Neilly said he was already trying not to laugh, when Jackie said, "No, sir. I'll fix it right now." Then, he reached into Neil's knapsack, pulled out a bottle of good whiskey - that Neil had been saving for leave, placed it gently next to the makeshift pillow, turned back to the LTC and said, "I think Maj Sheehan will validate this as appropriate now, sir." To which the LTC replied, "You're killin' me Flynn, your fuckin' killin' me," and dismissed them. The story ends that Maj. Sheehan returned to base in his mobile sleeping quarters driven by Staff Sgt. Flynn all safe and sound, the whiskey however, became another casualty of war.

He will be buried with honors near his beloved Fort Bragg, home of the 82nd Airborne. The bad news is we'll miss him terribly. The good news is, he's back with his parents, Audrey and Ervin Flynn. But the really bad news is "Big Erv" is probably still mad at him for never fixing the hood latch on his car when he was seventeen, and every time Pop drove the car over the nearby railroad tracks, the hood flew up forcing Pop to open the door and lean half his body out to find a place to pull over. The stream of profanities that issued forth from his mouth are probably still hanging in the air where the railroad tracks cross Lincoln Ave in Sayville, New York.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Pidgeon Is Faster Than Internet In Some Places


Pigeon transfers data faster than South Africa's Telkom Thu Sep 10, 5:05 pm ET
JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) – A South African information technology company on Wednesday proved it was faster for them to transmit data with a carrier pigeon than to send it using Telkom , the country's leading internet service provider.
Internet speed and connectivity in Africa's largest economy are poor because of a bandwidth shortage... Local news agency SAPA reported the 11-month-old pigeon, Winston, took one hour and eight minutes to fly the 50 miles from Unlimited IT's offices near Pietermaritzburg to the coastal city of Durban with a data card was strapped to his leg. Including downloading, the transfer took two hours, six minutes and 57 seconds -- the time it took for only four percent of the data to be transferred using a Telkom line. Unlimited IT performed the stunt after becoming frustrated with slow internet transmission times. ...Telkom could not immediately be reached for comment.

Is it time for me to go a little greener and pioneer a new way to blend old and new technology? I write from anywhere I happen to be. Sometimes I can’t always get the internet connection I need to send in reports. I could start a whole new trend and maybe others would follow, it would be very Al Gore of me to try anyway...

At an event on a Long Island Beach:
“Who's the big lady with the laptop and the pigeon cage?”
“Oh, that’s Ms Flynn. She writes for newspapers you know.”
“Is she donating the bird? Is it a sacrifice? She's not going to put on a hibachi and eat it is she?”
“Ms F. can’t always get her wireless internet to transmit her articles from her laptop out here in the wild. She writes things right out here in the field you know. She loves to rough it, a real pioneer. So now she brings one of her Flynn's Flyer’s with her to these events. The pigeons have a little suitcase velcroed to one ankle. Ms F. puts in her memory card and releases the bird. Her office gets the bird in five to eight minutes. She has two birds she likes to use, Paddy and Delilah. I think she brought Delilah today. We’ll know if he gives her Perrier water in her little cup, she’s a Hampton born pidgeon, she only drinks Perrier.”
“You’re kidding me.... and what does Paddy drink?”
“Well, that's the problem. Birds love alcohol and Paddy is a pigeon raised by someone in Ms. Flynn's own family. She just found out that Paddy has a bit of a drinking problem. Paddy got a sip from somebody's screwdriver at the last event and delivered Ms. F.’s card to Al Gore’s house. Fortunately, Al is trying out this green transfer concept and sent a new bird to her office. Then he got Paddy into a new little aviary rehab, The Pickled Pigeon in the Hamptons. It’s very private. Decorated the gayest available decorators. It has a nice park and statue theme, very tasteful, and no cat statues.”
“Yeah, I can see where that would mess with a bird’s brain.”
“Definitely, you don’t want to have the DT’s around images of things that can eat you.”
“So where do you buy these birds?”
“East Hampton store, Feathers Go Farther; Giving You the Bird From Manhattan to Montauk.”

Friday, September 04, 2009

Ring Right Through Your Nosey



Aug 20, 2009 WELLINGTON (Reuters) – A New Zealand man has been dubbed the Lord of the Ring after he searched and found his wedding ring more than a year after it slipped off his finger and sank to the sea floor. The ring was lost for 16 months in the harbor of the country's capital city, Wellington, before Aleki Taumoepeau found it shining on the sea floor, the Dominion Post newspaper reported Thursday. Taumoepeau, an ecologist, said... he lost the wedding ring while conducting an environmental sweep of the harbor. He roughly marked the spot where the ring had flown from his finger, but was unable to find it despite returning to the area many times....pledging to find the ring (and)..equipped with new global satellite based coordinates and offering up a quick prayer, he found the ring after an hour's search.

In a bar on the east coast:

“Joe, did you read about this guy who says he lost his wedding ring in the water and then found it again using g.p.s. and a prayer?”
“Yeah, what a crock. You know how many guys have tried using that story - losing their wedding ring in the water? “Honest hunny, I lost it when I was clammin’”, or “it got caught in a fish’s mouth when I was trying to get the hook out.” But I give the guy credit for originality - adding the g.p.s. locater concept, nice detail. Oh yeah, and the prayer, g.p.s. and a prayer.”
“Like he had one.”
“Not a prayer of finding a ring once it goes in the water, unless you happen to be sitting underwater with scuba and a net just looking up and seeing if anything happens to drop in.”
“So how do you think he found the ring, Joe?”
“He didn’t find that ring. He did what any intelligent cheating slob would do, he bought a new ring.”
“A new ring - geez, I never thought of that.”
“That’s why when you get married, you can get her a fancy ring, but you gotta stay with the plain band, very important. That way, if you lose that ring anytime for any reason, you can replace it before she knows it’s gone if you have to.”
“Did you ever lose your ring that year you were cheating on Carol?”
“Nope. I never took it off. I just bought a set of golf clubs and told Carol I was taking up golf.”
“You lost me, Joe. How does golf cover cheating on your wife?”
“Simple. I’d pick up my girlfriend at lunchtime and later, just before I left for home, I’d go outside, run her outside hose to make a puddle in the grass, then I’d jump around in the puddle and get grass bits all splashed up on my pants. Then I’d go home and Carol would yell at me as soon as I got in the door, “Where you been all afternoon? I called work twice, they said you never came back from lunch.” And then I’d tell her the truth.”
“The truth? Joe, man, there’s no way you told her the truth.”
“Everytime, I swear. I said, “Carol, you know what I did? I left at lunch time, picked up my girlfriend, we went to her house and we made mad passionate love all afternoon. How do you like that?” And she’d say, “Don’t lie to me you son of a bitch! Look at your pants! You blew off work to go golfing again!”
“Whoa.....great cover Joe. Beats the hell outta g.p.s. and a prayer.”
“Thank you, I thought it was rather creative if I do say so myself.”