"Awareness" Ribbons - I'm confused!

Tie a ribbon around this...

I don’t know if it’s a function of increasing age, peri-menopause or the ebbing of my ‘cool’ factor, but I’m losing track of my Ribbon Identity Publicly Officially For Factor, a.k.a., RIP OFF.

When Tony Orlando and Dawn had that hit in the 70’s “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree”, we all started tying yellow ribbons around trees, oak and non-oak for soldiers returning from Viet Nam. Gradually, everybody was tying yellow ribbons around trees everywhere to signal they missed someone. It was very sweet , politically correct and cool all at the same time.

At some point, somebody decided to make the statement portable by making a small yellow ribbon into a pin you could wear to make everyone who saw you aware that you were waiting for someone. It was always a conversation starter.

Then, I think it was Breast Cancer that joined in next and we all had to wear pink ribbons to remember our breasts, and to remember every October, to bring them to a place with squash pans to have them compressed into discs. So, now we were wearing yellow ribbons for returning loved ones and pink ribbons for our boobs. I was still okay with it and even bought the pen that Avon sold with a pink ribbon on the clasp for $4.99.

The ribbons have evolved into metal enamel jewelry pins. There are yellow pins, pink, lavender, rainbow, stars and stripes, white, purple, dark blue, light blue, jigsaw pieces, and I’ve forgotten the other colors and patterns I’ve seen.

I feel lost because I have completely lost track of what all the colors mean after yellow and pink. I know I’m the only one. It’s worrying me because now there are big magnetic ribbons on the backs of cars and I have no idea what they support. Sometimes I’d like to ask, but when I’ve done that in the past, I’ve gotten much more information than I want. And you can’t shut someone up by taking the big magnetic ribbon off the back of their car and smacking them across the face with it a few times, saying, “I just wanted to know the time, not how the clock works,” it’s considered by some to be rude.

So I’m going to create a plaid ribbon with every color I can imagine represented. That way we can all just wear a plaid ribbon to signify that some problem somewhere is bothering us enough to think that wearing a plaid enamel ribbon pin will help the situation. I’m going to call it the “One for all and all for one” plaid ribbon special. This pin will cover all causes except for the sea foam green pin that will represent Shelter Island and our own local causes.

So, just plaid and sea foam green ribbons from now on. Okay, and maybe a red ribbon pin. I don’t think any group has claimed the color red, and that’s my favorite color, so that ribbon will be just for me. If you wear a red ribbon, that means you’re on my team. Oh, and what about turquoise, such a lovely color....