Bait and Switch
“For the mature woman who has everything: a boy toy.
By Robert Campbell (AP Jan 30, 10:49 AM ET)
Wanted: rich older women interested in hot younger guys. Applicants must be over 35, earn at least $500,000 a year or have a minimum of $4 million in liquid assets, entrusted assets or divorce settlement.
That's the basis of a speed-dating event organized by a New York entrepreneur bringing together 20 "sugar mamas" and 20 "boy toys" vetted by an elite New York matchmaker. "Symbiosis has allowed ugly rich men to attract young, gorgeous, money-hungry women for centuries; it's now the women's turn," proclaims pocketchangenyc.com.”
“Sally, you’ve cooked up some crazy ideas before, but this one is crazy enough to actually work.”
“I think it has a shot. All the single women on the Island complain all the time that there’s no one new to date. Dating on Shelter Island is like playing musical chairs. Everybody is somebody else’s ex. All the men have been recycled.”
“That’s true, I’ve cycled through the available Island guys twice. So, the plan is, we send some real rich Island women to this event as bait to lure some of these hot guys back.”
“I know two gals, stinkin’ rich. They’ll go to the event if I tell them that the guys are shoe designers who select the women whom they think are attractive enough to wear their shoes. You know rich people can’t handle rejection. These women will bribe the guys to come to the Island with their goods to see if the shoe fits....”
”How do we get rid of the rich women after they get the guys here?”
“Simple, we tell them the truth. The men don’t have any designer shoes and worse, they have no money. They’ll drop them like a ferral cat at the dumps.”
“How do we keep the guys on the Island, Sally?”
“Ah, that’s where my true genius comes in. We are on an Island after all. We bribe, threaten, or blackmail the ferrymen to ban these new guys from the ferries. Next, we find married men with boats to patrol the Island and stifle any escape attempts.”
“Married men with boats?”
“Of course, they are constantly looking for any excuse to get out of the house before She Who Must Be Obeyed can assign any chores. And any excuse that gets them on their boat is welcome. By patroling the waters around the Island and preventing any escapes, they get out of the house and in their boats. If we add beer, it will be perfect.”
“What about if the captives call for help on their cell phones?”
“We’ll frisk them for cell phones, or any communication devices, but if one of them manages to make any off-island contact, we’ll just stonewall whomever comes. We don’t know anyone by that name or description.”
“I love it.”
“I’m telling you, it can work. I figure we can keep them here for at least a year. We’ll put them on a rotation list so everybody gets an equal shot at each new guy. If we don’t like them, we just let them go.”
“Just like that? What if they report us to the authorities?”
“Who’s going to believe them that they were held captive on a tiny Island by wild single women? The cops will think they just swallowed too much sea water, or they might get committed, either way, they’ll never sell the story.”
“Gosh, a new man on Shelter Island, wow, it doesn’t happen very often, Sally.”
“Yep. I almost feel sorry for the poor slobs. One rotation with the Island gals, won’t be nothin’ left of these boys but their shoelaces.”
“Serves them right for trying to marry women just for their money.”
“Remember the old saying, when you marry for money, you earn every penny of it.”
Well said.
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