All Natural Flight...

Fly naked on nudist holiday flight
Tue. Jan 29, 9:13 AM ET
German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane. OssiUrlaub.de, said it would start taking bookings for nudist day trips from the eastern German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom.
“The passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking,” said Enrico Hess, booking agent. “The crew will remain clothed throughout the flight for safety reasons.....I wish I could say we thought of it ourselves but the idea came from a customer," Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's an unusual gap in the market." Naturism, or "free body culture" (FKK) is well known in Germany. "There are FKK hotels, restaurants, shops naked, for example," Hess said. "For FKK fans, it's nothing unusual..... We're a perfectly normal holiday company."

“Sally, this is so great. How did you book a flight so late?”
“Pure dumb luck Patty! There were 17 vacancies on this plane - all the other flights were sold out! I don’t know why they had so many vacancies, but I checked it out, it’s a reputable airline. They’re just making one stop en route to Lucerne at a place called Erfurt.”
“Fantastic!”
“The booking agent said everyone will be flying natural, he wanted to know if we’d have a problem with that.”
“A problem traveling natural? No make-up and sweat clothes? Sounds like heaven to me.”
“Me too, Patty. I hate putting on makeup when I travel. It always smudges and crumbles and I look like a raccoon by the end of the trip.”
“I’m going braless.”
“Whoa Patty! Living on the edge now!”

(one hour later)
“Nice smooth takeoff. Everybody is socializing. What a friendly group, Sally!”
“They sure are. Looks like a club.
“Oh my gawd! Sally! That guys is.. is he? He’s stripping! Call the attendant!”
“I’m hitting the button now! There’s another one - that big guy - and his wife?!?”
“Hello, I’m Helga, how can I help you?”
“Hi, look Helga... all these people are taking off their clothes!”
“Ya, it is a natural flight. Ver you not toldt?”
“We were told it was a natural flight, yes, but we thought that meant you could dress casually.”
“Vell, it means you don’t have to dress at all. Have a nice flight.”
“Oh Patty... I think we’re going to be the only ones with clothes on. What are we going to do?”
“I’m calling Helga back.”
“She can’t help she said.”
“She can bring vodka!”
“Look, that woman’s had three c-sections. Poor thing! Look at all the open heart surgery scars, Patty.”
“These are not ‘le bode beautiful’, none of them.... I can’t believe all the hairy backs and butts, Helga better leave me the whole bottle.”
“Boy, Patty, you sure can spot the implants.”
“I don’t want to spot anything. I’m not even going to be able to hold down my lunch!”
”Patty, one of them is coming this way, a man. Oh geez....”
“Hello, I speak english, I am Karl. Are you ladies joining us today?”
“No, we’re just on our way to Lucerne.”
“Vell, it’s very nice to go natural. You might like it. Ve’ll be together for four hours you know. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Ve are all born naked. It’s just brainvashing that ve need clothes. Look at me.”
“Oh, that’s okay, Karl, we’d rather not. You’re so, so... so close.”
“You can’t tell if I’m a bum or a corporate lawyer. All the lies are gone.”
”You’re right Karl, clothes make us lie. I guess you can tell from my attire that I’m a three time Karate champion.”
“I make you nervous. I understand. I’ll leave. I’ll send you a gift, just to be a friend.”
“That’s not necessary, thank you just the same.”

(Karl leaves and shortly returns)
“A whole bottle of blue label Stoly... this is the good stuff, Sal. You should have some.”
“I don’t think I should. I joke about drinking, but you know I don’t drink.”
“This is a good time to start.”

(one hour later)
“Sally! SALLY! No more Stoly! Where are your clothes? You have to get dressed before we descend! NO! I don’t want to learn any german drinking songs with you! Karl - stop encouraging her! Now see that? They’ve called the pilot to come here and settle you down. You be nice. He said, sit down - he’s not going to let you fly the plane naked. C’mon Sal, sit down. I’m covering you with this blanket Good girl, you just sit there and sing.”

(the next day)
“..so I did my best to find something to dress you in, Sally, and here we are in our nice little hotel.”
“I’m so sorry, Patty. I don’t remember a thing.”
”I know.”
“Are you going to tell me why I have a heart tattoo on my boob with the name Karl in it?”
“No, not today. Maybe tomorrow, after I explain the tattoo of the Stoly bottle on your rump.”