Trade-Mockery

After a long legal battle, a summer resident of Shelter Island, lost his trademark of the silhouette image of the map of Shelter Island. Thank you to all the lawyers who worked pro bono to reclaim our beloved image. Everyone can once again use the outline of Shelter Island without fear.

For those of you who aren’t sure what silhouette I’m talking about, it’s the one on our license plates, magnetic stickers on the backs of our cars, on our refrigerators, plastered on 90% of any tee shirt or clothing item sold here, key chains, pens, hats, handbags, jewelry, etc. It has been used flagrantly in the school by hundreds of students in paintings, school projects and such. I haven’t seen one yet, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone gets a tattoo of the Island. But I sort of hope that doesn’t happen because then it could become very fashionable and soon we’d have a generation of teenagers with Island tats. They’ll look cute while the kids are still young, but eventually, their Island tattoos will expand and be mistaken for Sag Harbor...

However, I have to admit that I am a tiny bit disappointed that the guy lost his suit, because it could have opened the door to a new level of trademarks and a lot of money for Shelter Island. The Chequit could have trademarked it’s famous crooked tower and then everyone would have to pay to take pictures of it. The Dory could have trademarked, what else? The image of a dory. Jack’s Marina would have a plethora of choices to trademark; clam nets, life jackets, just about anything nautical. Bliss’s Department Store could trademark the image of Topsiders and a hundred other things. The Clarks could have trademarked the image of a ferry. And the Town itself could have trademarked images of the water surrounding the Island. It has that unique blue gray green shade so popular in the Atlantic now. Any tourist taking a picture on the ferry with the ocean in the background ( a common background for a ferry) would owe royalties to multiple Islanders. I had my heart set on a owning the image of a clam.

But, then, the idea might spread and soon, Southampton might trademark beach dunes, East Hampton would trademark all their celebrities as town property and my darling Paul Simon would trademark all of Montauk - I should call him really, and ask him if I can have the lighthouse image. I’ve always liked it and he has enough stuff. But then, there’s always the chance that Montauk would beat him to the punch and trademark him, and I suppose they’d want their lighthouse too, so demanding...

But these are opportunities lost. Now that the image of Shelter Island is in the public domain again, I suppose I’ll have to give back the sky. I’ve secretly owned it for years. I was going to cash in on all the artists who have been painting it all this time without my written consent and retire. Now, I’ll have to fall back on my ownership of all the maple trees in New York State. I want to shift them around and create new color patterns. But I’ll just keep those plans to myself for now.