PC = Fascism with good manners

“...and they’re all made out of ticky tacky, and they all look just the same.”

I was thinking of all the poor smokers who stand around outside the bars just to have a cigarette. They smoke outside in the cold, the rain, the heat. It’s just not right. I can’t recall who said it, but I agree, political correctness is just fascism with good manners.

I’m not a smoker. I can’t stand it. But I think it’s deplorable that smokers have become second class citizens. They have to apologize for having a lousy cigarette. They pay outrageous taxes for their little pack of smokes. I know it’s a bad habit, but who’s perfect? We all do things that are bad for our health. If I were a smoker, I’d organize other smokers and restaurant owners to repeal the law that prohibits smoking in bars and add a law for ventilation. What’s next on the PC hit list? No drinking in bars?

Now that the PC Machine has gotten away with beating up smokers, they’re coming after overweight people. All of a sudden, the whole country has to lose weight. Some people, like me, really do need to lose weight. But most people are being made to feel terrible about an extra twenty pounds, it’s ridiculous. There are other things to worry about, like Jay Leno said, “you can’t take nail clippers on an airplane, but 10,000 illegal aliens can cross the borders every day. So much for Homeland Security!”

Based on what the PC Machine did to the smokers, I predict this for the future of my kind...
Fast Food staff will not to sell anything to us but salads.
We’ll have to stand outside of Dunkin' Donuts to eat our apple fritters where everyone can see us and know that we are bad.
Doctors will save time diagnosing us by attributing all ailments to weight.
Obesity will be an allowable cause to file for divorce.
The on screen warnings in the movie theaters will be: No smoking; Remember to turn off your cell phones; No talking during the picture; No eating unless you are height /weight
proportionate.
Stores will add a hefty fat tax at the register for any sweets or snacks being purchased by a chubby.

Someday I’ll be in the car with my skinny friend Charlotte who eats so frequently, she even keeps food in her car! My luck, I’ll be the one driving when the cops are doing spot checks for carb abuse. If you’re caught illegally eating, you get put in the tank overnight. But you don’t get bread and water, you get celery and water.

“Quick, Charlotte! Peel off the label from the Krispy Kreme box and give it to me.”
“What for? Why are you sticking it on your forehead?”
“Shhhhh............ Yes officer?”
“Good evening ma’am,” the officer says as he shines a flashlight in my face. “You appear to be a carbo. Have you had any illegal carbs tonight?”
“No officer, as you can see, I’m on the patch.”

After the chubbies, I predict the PC Machine will go after the computer people. They are too sedentary and that’s not healthy! Studies will suddenly hit the media about clots in their legs from sitting, eye fatigue from Solitaire, heart stress from excessive coke/coffee intake, social devolvement from working with the same small group who get excited by a new screen saver. Anything linked to sitting in front of a computer will become a crisis. Soon they will have to work on a treadmill with their computers in front of them. They’ll have to get a physician’s note to sit more than one hour per shift. Workers who continue to sit in a comfortable chair to do their work will get the fish eye, like a smoker with a cigarette or a chubby with a donut.

After the computer people, it will be people who commute too many hours in a day. Their increased stress aggravates their medical conditions. They fatigue and cause accidents. They get road rage and kill people. They use more than their fair share of gas which drives up prices, and they produce extra pollution from their long commute. OnStar will track your movements and notify DMV if you are a commute abuser, afterall, it’s for your own good....

Laugh now, but everyone’s turn will come. Something you’re doing right now is not PC approved, and you will have to stop it or face legislation to protect you. If we tried, we could stop the PC Machine by heightening our esteem for personal freedom. It would be like...uh....like living in America!