Monday, September 19, 2005

Self Help...Shoot Me Now...

They Call Me Mellow Yellow...

Shelter Island is home to many authors. Betty Crowson, a famous life coach from the island, recently published a terrific book called, “The Joy is in the Journey, A Woman’s Guide Through Crisis and Change”. It takes you through her “Eight Practical Solutions of; Self-Acceptance, Balance, Embracing Spirituality, Letting Go, Healing, Paying Attention, Taking Action, and Living Consciously”. “The Joy is in the Journey” is available through book stores or you can visit www.thejoyisinthejourney.com.

I read it and I have some additional insights that may help women through times of change as well...

Self Acceptance: This is very important. I accept the fact that my life is a train wreck. If you need me, I’ll be laying across the tracks in Greenport.

Balance: Critical to your well being is balance. I have achieved this by evenly stacking all my bills onto the four corners of the dining room table. I added a pile of rice in the center of the table for that feng shui effect. Additionally, for more emotional balance, I am limiting phone calls from relatives to fifteen minutes a call. That way I worry about everyone evenly. Some get a little more of my worry than others, but with my new system, I am definitely feeling more emotional balance. They say Knowledge is Power, but I say knowledge is anxiety producing, better you should live by the axiom Ignorance is Bliss....

Embracing Spirituality: I hug any pastors, priests, rabbi’s, nun’s, monk’s that I find. They all seem to be very nice people and say nice things to me. So I can clearly recommend embracing spirituality.

Letting Go: This is the hardest step for me. It’s not so much that I’m a controlling person, it’s just that I like to be in charge of everything. I can armchair quarterback just about anyone else’s life. And it’s certainly more fun than taking the time to effect positive change in your own. Breaking habits is time consuming and disruptive to your Zen state of mind. Unless your habits are life threatening, like making grenades at home for fun and profit, just let your habits go...

Healing: I keep an excellent first aid kit in my house for physical healings. I have chocolate and macaroni and cheese on standby at all times for emotional healings. I have an encyclopedia of adages and advice in my head at all times for intellectual healings. The most important thing to be able to distinguish when you are the shaman in your own home, is to know who needs to heal versus who is a heel.

Paying Attention: This I do all the time. I pay attention to my roots so I know when to color. I pay attention to my mascara so I buy a new one before the old one gets dry. I pay attention to the person who signals where I should go on the ferry so that I don’t look like an idiot for getting in the wrong lane because I forget the signal in the six feet I drove since I got it. I pay attention to how many eggs are left whenever the carton comes out of the fridge. I pay attention to a thousand things a day, who doesn’t?

Taking Action: As soon as I get everything I’m paying attention to, balanced and under control, I plan to let go and take action about something or other I want to change. I’ll work out the details later...

Living Consciously: This part of Betty’s book really spoke to me because it’s the hardest thing to do as a parent. I try to live unconsciously because reality is not only a bummer, it’s a nuisance. Living consciously requires that I deal with my eighteen year old daughter and her inane life choices. If I live unconsciously, I can believe that she is attending school in Europe, learning and having fun. If I live consciously, I must face that fact that although intelligent, she is so emotionally dense that light bends around her. I think I’ll just remain unconscious till she gets back from Europe in four years.

Thanx for a great book, Betty! The joy really is in the journey, or as we flower children used to say, life is a trip...

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