Pissed Off Pilot!

Maybe he should have used a Palm Pilot....

AP Sat, Apr 7 Las Vegas: A Northwest Airlines flight was canceled because the pilot was yelling obscenities during a cell phone conversation while people were boarding, and cursed one passenger, a federal official said Saturday.
The pilot of the Las Vegas-to-Detroit flight was apparently in a heated cell phone conversation in the cockpit, then went into a lavatory, locked the door and continued the conversation, ..."Passengers who were boarding the aircraft could hear his end of it." Authorities were told that the pilot cursed one passenger who confronted him. There were 180 passengers and five crew on the flight to Detroit. ...Passengers were accommodated on other flights to their destinations. They also were given meals and hotels during any additional time in Las Vegas.

“Julia, I cannot have this conversation NOW! You know I’m already on board!
Well, can’t it wait till I get there? It’s only a two hour flight. Why are you crying? Don’t cry Julie, what did you do? WHAT IS IT, JUST SAY IT FOR F...K’S SAKE!”

“Captain, please.... you need to keep it down.”

“Fine! I’ll go in the bathroom! Will that make you happy?”

“Sir, just keep it down... the passengers....”

“Scr...the passengers!” Slam!

“Okay Julie, I’m in the can. Just spit it out!
What about my car? You’re talking about the Chevy right? Not the Porsche. You didn’t drive my Porsche, right?
Julie...JULIA! Repeat after me....I did NOT drive the Porsche. Just say it!
Ahhhhhh, noooooo, not my new car..........what were you thinking?
Well, if you weren’t driving it who was?
Roger? Roger who? Roger Wilcox? My co-pilot? Are your sh....g me? I’ll kill him!
Wait a minute... what was he doing driving my car? Why is he at the house? Is that why he’s not on this flight with me now? Because he’s there?
He’s there NOW? No, don’t put him on the phone - tell me WHY he’s THERE Julie!
What problems? We aren’t having any problems....since when?
Where were you and Roger going in my new car when he drove it through the back wall of the garage?
Of course I’m shouting, you slut! You’re leaving me in MY new car????
(Knocking at the door) “Captain, I really hate to disturb you, but.....”

“Good! Then don’t!” Slam!

“Julie, so help me God, you better be there when I get home and Roger too so I can kill him!”

(Sheriff arrives on board, addressing Head Flight Attendant) “I don’t know, Officer... something about killing someone named Roger. He sounds really upset.”

“This is the Sheriff! Open the door, Captain! Okay, let’s hear your story, Mac”

“911? Hello again. This is Margaret Johnson, the Head Flight Attendant, we just spoke. Yes, the Sheriff came. Yes, they talked for a few minutes. I don’t know, now they’re both trying to fit in the bathroom and scream at the person on the other end of that cell phone. Something about a broken porch on the garage...”