God Bless America!

What a Difference a Date Makes..

Many of the Fourth of July fireworks and celebrations have been scheduled for the weekend of the 7th and 8th of July, just like many St. Patrick’s Days parades were held the following weekend. This is annoying the hell out of me.

Here’s my beef. I can allow the observation of holidays like Washington or Lincoln’s birthdays to be attached to a weekend because there’s no specific activity linked to these holidays. But holidays that have activities attached to them are date specific, not time released and it is not okay with me to push their celebration to the closest weekend to insure that retailers make maximum sales.

For instance, the FOURTH of July should be observed on the FOURTH of July. Call me old fashioned, but whenever I think of the Fourth of July, I think of a day in July occurring between the 3rd and the 5th. I looked at my calendar closely and I see that there is not a second 4th in July, there’s just the one. Say what you will, St. Patrick’s Day parades do not feel the same on the 20th and Fourth of July fireworks do not feel the same on the 7th. I know these observances are moved to extend weekends and increase retail sales, but honestly, it detaches us from the soul of the day.

“When are you getting Joe from the airport, Betty?”
“On Tuesday.”
“Isn’t that Christmas Day? The airport will be hell.”
“Well, it is the 25th, but we’re observing it on Friday the 28th. Kwanzaa celebration starts the next day and goes through till New Years Day which will fall on the 4th of January the following Monday. It’s really smart and just easier to have the holidays line up to start on a Friday and go straight through till the whole week and end on a Monday.”
“But why not celebrate Christmas on the 25th?”
“Because you can’t tell where the 25th is going to fall from one year to the next and you don’t want your holidays starting in the middle of a week. This way, we all know the holidays will start on the last Friday of the year regardless of the calendar date. Besides, it’s the spirit of the thing that counts.”
“It’s the spirit of the thing I’m talking about. Christmas won’t feel the same on the 28th.”
“Sure it will. A day is just a day. It’s just numbers on the Gregorian calendar. You know that the years and months were adjusted by Pope Gregory and Pope Leo centuries before him. No one know what day Jesus was born. Experts say it was probably in October.”
“But the 25th is traditional.”
“Traditions change. There is a first time for all things. Like the Fourth of July, it gets celebrated on the first Saturday following the 4th now, with the following Monday off and everybody likes it. You’ll get used to the new tradition. The super sales start the weekend before, perfect for shopping.”
“I don’t like it. It’s just not right. I want “the night before Christmas when all through the house” to be on the 24th. I want Christmas morning on Christmas morning and I want fireworks for the Fourth of July to occur on the day of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, which we can prove was on the Fourth of July because they all signed and dated the document.”
“That’s what the signers claim, but was it notarized? Don’t you think a document important enough to start a country should have been notarized?”
“No. I don’t even think they had notaries then.”
“See? No legal validation for the Fourth of July at all. No reason we can’t move it where we want on the calendar.”
“This whole thing feels like a pine cone in my pants. No matter how I shift, I just can’t get comfortable.”
“Here drink this eggnog. The liquor store had a great Christmas sale on rum and this is delicious.”
“I’m not sure if inebriation will solve this dilemma, Betty.”
“Nonsense! Inebriation will definitely solve this. Just stay plastered until New Year’s Day and you won’t feel a thing.”
“Maybe I should just stay drunk till Valentine’s Day on the 14th of February?”
“Actually, we’re observing that on Friday the 16th.”