Aug 20, 2009 WELLINGTON (Reuters) – A New Zealand man has been dubbed the Lord of the Ring after he searched and found his wedding ring more than a year after it slipped off his finger and sank to the sea floor. The ring was lost for 16 months in the harbor of the country's capital city, Wellington, before Aleki Taumoepeau found it shining on the sea floor, the Dominion Post newspaper reported Thursday. Taumoepeau, an ecologist, said... he lost the wedding ring while conducting an environmental sweep of the harbor. He roughly marked the spot where the ring had flown from his finger, but was unable to find it despite returning to the area many times....pledging to find the ring (and)..equipped with new global satellite based coordinates and offering up a quick prayer, he found the ring after an hour's search.
In a bar on the east coast:
“Joe, did you read about this guy who says he lost his wedding ring in the water and then found it again using g.p.s. and a prayer?”
“Yeah, what a crock. You know how many guys have tried using that story - losing their wedding ring in the water? “Honest hunny, I lost it when I was clammin’”, or “it got caught in a fish’s mouth when I was trying to get the hook out.” But I give the guy credit for originality - adding the g.p.s. locater concept, nice detail. Oh yeah, and the prayer, g.p.s. and a prayer.”
“Like he had one.”
“Not a prayer of finding a ring once it goes in the water, unless you happen to be sitting underwater with scuba and a net just looking up and seeing if anything happens to drop in.”
“So how do you think he found the ring, Joe?”
“He didn’t find that ring. He did what any intelligent cheating slob would do, he bought a new ring.”
“A new ring - geez, I never thought of that.”
“That’s why when you get married, you can get her a fancy ring, but you gotta stay with the plain band, very important. That way, if you lose that ring anytime for any reason, you can replace it before she knows it’s gone if you have to.”
“Did you ever lose your ring that year you were cheating on Carol?”
“Nope. I never took it off. I just bought a set of golf clubs and told Carol I was taking up golf.”
“You lost me, Joe. How does golf cover cheating on your wife?”
“Simple. I’d pick up my girlfriend at lunchtime and later, just before I left for home, I’d go outside, run her outside hose to make a puddle in the grass, then I’d jump around in the puddle and get grass bits all splashed up on my pants. Then I’d go home and Carol would yell at me as soon as I got in the door, “Where you been all afternoon? I called work twice, they said you never came back from lunch.” And then I’d tell her the truth.”
“The truth? Joe, man, there’s no way you told her the truth.”
“Everytime, I swear. I said, “Carol, you know what I did? I left at lunch time, picked up my girlfriend, we went to her house and we made mad passionate love all afternoon. How do you like that?” And she’d say, “Don’t lie to me you son of a bitch! Look at your pants! You blew off work to go golfing again!”
“Whoa.....great cover Joe. Beats the hell outta g.p.s. and a prayer.”
“Thank you, I thought it was rather creative if I do say so myself.”
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