Deer vs. Car, a.k.a. Death by Buick The Shelter Island Reporter reported two car vs. deer collisions last week. In each case the deer caused more than $1000 in damage to the car. It used to be the other way around. Cars caused about $500 in venison steaks to be donated to your freezer. I called it Death by Buick, and it was a perfectly acceptable way for nontraditional hunters to hunt on Shelter Island. My mother got a deer with her Oldsmobile on the way to work one day. The police tied it across the hood and gave her the address of a hunter to have it butchered. He kept half the meat in exchange for his services. It was a good system and mother never had to wait in the cold blowing on hot tomato soup in a thermos for hours. She kept it to one kill a season, and that was only if the deer jumped in front of her car. I think it’s nice that newer cars are designed with lighter materials to save gas and all that green stuff, but really, if a deer can take out the front of your car, how much protection do you really have? Maybe some one should design a car specifically for Island residents all up and down the northeast coast. Ford introduces, the all new, Island Hopper The Island Hopper is the newest in Ford’s line. The Hopper, designed for island life is filled with special features: The FerryFinder: Regardless of where you are on your island, turn on your FerryFinder and follow the ferry icon on your in-dashboard monitor to your ferry of choice. The DeSandy: The DeSandy is a new floor system. Your carpet is pervious and sand passes through to a grid of collection pans under the floorboards. Just activate and the car will shimmy for six minutes to shake out all the sand. The PortaDesk: A portable surface is affixed to your car’s interior roof. When you need to have a car to car or truck to truck meeting, pull your Hopper up to the drivers side of the other car, pop out your PortaDesk, it spans from your door to theirs and hooks onto their door, creating a smooth flat surface that papers, maps, and lunch, can be spread upon. You can have meetings from the seat of your Hopper. The DeerClear monitoring system. Never hit a deer again unless you want to. DeerClear sends a recording of a rifle shot towards any deer it finds on its search grid. DeerClear can also come with DeerNear, for those who opt to hunt with their Hopper. Unlike other vehicles, all Hoppers have the anti-deer front bumper. A deer could be launched into your Hopper by a jet rocket, and the new, NoF*ingWay Bumper will hold. Also, our all new, KnowByBlow is standard in all Hoppers. Next to the cigarette lighter is a police approved breathalyzer, never drive drunk again without knowing it. Turn on the BeerNear system to locate liquor stores, or turn on the PartyFinder to find parties by music volume. And the Hopper is the first Ford to offer the KidSaver seat separator. Hit a button on your dash and Plexiglas dividers pop up from the seats to isolate any disruptive occupants. You will not have to hear them and they can’t reach out and touch anyone. KidSaver includes a pepper spray option to control teens and nitrous oxide for screaming babies. The Hopper - Ford thinks of it all for You!