Some of a Beach......

Beach Baskets - Back to the Future

If you decide to live anywhere on the New England coast, you must learn about beach baskets, not to be confused with the high tech “beach carriers” of the west coast. The west coasters have trollies for all their beach stuff with cup holders, picnic tables that fold to the size of a paper plate and somewhere on all their stuff is a digital clock that will work till the first drop of water hits it. No, I'm talkin' good old fashioned wicker beach baskets.

The rule in my family was, if you’re going to the beach, you have to let everyone else know so they can join you if they want. I don’t recall ever being at the beach with just my mom and brothers, there was always assorted family members that showed up and everyone brought their official beach basket or cooler.

The 1950’s: My grandmother had a big wicker beach basket with sides that flipped up. The contents were always the same: sandwiches in tin foil; Peanut Butter and Jelly (P&J's) for the kids, baloney for the men, Noxema, Entenmann’s Crumb Cake, YooHoo’s, floppy hats, Brownie camera, and a bottle of vinegar for jellyfish stings. My grandfather packed the cooler, contents: beer and bait. Whether or not we were going fishing, the bait always stayed in the cooler. Bait served a dual purpose as bait and a biochemical beer protection barrier to keep the women and children from opening that stinky cooler, and worked every time.

The 1960’s: My mother had a nice wicker beach basket too. She was a single mother of four. Her contents were: sandwiches in unmanageably clingy saran wrap; just P&J’s, Noxema, Entenmann’s Crumb Cake, YooHoo’s, sunglasses replaced floppy hats, kodak camera, tee shirts for sunburn protection, plastic shovels, old kitchen spoons or plastic scoops from the Chock Full of Nuts cans, a magazine for reading which could also be used for shooing flies, swatting children - which could be your kid or some stray kid who wandered into your strike zone, and a bottle of vinegar for jellyfish stings. The men brought the cooler, contents: beer and bait.

The 1970’s: My mother got remarried and had another child. As teenager, I convinced her to ditch the old basket for a new insulated plastic beach tote with a flower power design by Peter Max and an easy-tear plastic lining..... The contents were: sandwiches in fold over sandwich bags; P&J for Mom and kids, yogurt for me, sunglasses, sunscreen replaced Noxema, baby oil for me (so I could roast my skin in my string bikini), a transistor radio so Cousin Brucie on 77WABC could turn me over every 15 minutes (all I needed was skewer going through my body), Kodak 110 slim camera, and a can of Bactine spray to replace the bottle of vinegar for jellyfish stings. It worked just as good, only modern and more expensive. My stepfather packed the cooler, per instructions he received, with beer and bait. But he used to sneak in cokes for my mother which wasn’t really allowed, but the men in the family looked the other way because he was new.

The 1980’s: I had left home, but on my return visits to New York to renew my attitude and accent, I noticed that mother had backslid. The flower power beach tote was mysteriously missing and she had a new wicker beach basket. The contents were: sandwiches in unsealable zip lock bags that could be sealed if you had an extra half hour to line up two skinny white lines and slowly compress with two fingers from one corner to the other; P&J for kids, baloney for men, fruit roll ups, juice boxes, orange drink, sunscreen, sunglasses, a crossword puzzle magazine, Polaroid camera, and Solarcaine spray for jellyfish stings. My stepfather packed the cooler with beer and bait - he was with the program now....

The 1990’s: I returned home as a single mom. I bought a wicker beach basket. Why? Because I understood the wisdom of the New England woman.... you can shake the sand out easier, it’s sturdy, it floats and has enough weight to it so you can discreetly bump your kids along as they walk back to the car. The contents: sandwiches in zip lock bags with "blue and yellow make green" color stripes; P&J for kids, baloney sandwiches for brothers, gummy bears, juice boxes, bottled water, polarized sunglasses, sunscreen spray and tee shirts, some light reading; "101 Ways to Axe Your Ex for Beginners", Noxema, and vinegar for jellyfish stings. Vinegar’s cheaper and effective and you can locate your child by smell, just like a mother seal, which makes you feel closer to nature in case sand in your bathing suit crotch isn’t close enough. The men brought coolers, contents: beer and bait. I had a discussion with my brothers about bringing soft drinks instead of beer but they said, “Then what’s the point of going to the beach?” I had one of those, “If I had testosterone, I’d understand this”, moments, so I left it alone.

The 2000’s: My daughter is grown and gone, so now I’m only one kid away from 'Empty Pest Syndrome'. I bought a sturdy wicker beach basket with sides that flip up. The contents - My new classics: delicious sandwiches in zip lock bags, Noxema, Entenmann’s Ultimate Crumb Cake, YooHoo’s, Sobe’s, sparkly visor, book of crytogram puzzles, digital camera and a bottle of vinegar for jellyfish stings. Gee, I wonder what my brothers will bring.....