Betty Friedan Please don't go...

How could you leave us?

What a sad week... losing both Coretta Scott King and Betty Friedan, two of my personal heroes. I always loved Coretta for being a class act. She was definitely the strong, silent type, with opinions that would surprise you. She hated Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. She saw them as self serving opportunists who increased racial tensions. I agree with her on that. She challenged the finding of the court in her husband murder trial and sought to free the man whom she believed was innocent of the assasination of Martin Luther King, Jr. In my opinion, there’s no better role model for any woman who seeks truth than Coretta Scott King.

I heard Betty Friedan speak many times over the years. She is personally responsible for much of the aggravation I have caused my loved ones in the course of my life.

I was seventeen and about to become only the second person in my whole family who would graduate from high school. I wanted to go on to college. When I announced this to my family, they looked at me quizzically and my grandfather asked, “But don’t you want to get married?” I recall being dumbfounded at the realization that these two ideas were incompatible in their minds.

The Army recruiter had been to our school, and say what you will, it really it a great place for young people to get started. My stepfather blocked my scholarship to Oswego (but that’s another story). So one day, I found myself deep in a very bad section of Queens at a wig factory. They cut 38 inches of hair off my head and paid me $300. I bought two suitcases, clothes, new shoes, and then I enlisted to get the GI bill so I could get my education.

Fast forward one year. I’m serving at Fitzsimons Army Medical Center Psych Unit in Denver. Sergeants and officers make inappropriate comments and advances all the time. Cornering me in the linen room was a regular pastime for the married 40-something Major who ran the psych unit. Finally he said he was putting me on night shift and keeping me there (ignoring the six month rotation) until I was “nice” to him.

Fast forward eighteen months on night shift. I can’t get any quality sleep in the noisy barracks during the day. I’m punchy all the time. I worry about making mistakes constantly. Somebody leaves a copy of The Feminine Mystique in the lounge. I know it was God.

When I picked up the book, I’d never heard of sexual harassment and just accepted that this was how it was for women. By page 87, Betty said, we shouldn’t tolerate sexually manipulative behavior, and the Major is looking very bad. By page 192, Betty said, we have to speak up, so I went to the JAG (Judge Advocate General) to complain. They said I couldn’t prove what I claimed, so go away. By page 258, Betty said, we are not responsible for how men react to us, so I went to the Chaplain. He was nice, but told me it must be the way I dress (I’m in fatigues! We’re all in fatigues!) that’s provoking the Major. By page 317, Betty said, women must reach out to help and support each other, so I take a Chinese cooking course on post. Coincidentally, I noticed a Mrs. Weir on the sign up sheet. She turns out to be a great gal who, coincidentally, is married to General Weir who, coincidentally, is the General of the post. Gee... it was almost like I planned it....

Fast forward two months. I’m off nights. I have a new assignment as an aide in General Weir’s office. He makes me an editor of the post paper because he thinks I write “pithy humor” and he loves it! He insists I should become a writer, but I can’t imagine aspiring to anything so lofty. I do think of that pesky Major sometimes ...and wonder how’s he’s doing since he got reassigned to Guam...

Ever since reading The Feminine Mystique, I’ve been an irritant to any female friend or relative whom I think is tolerating mistreatment based on gender. I’ve caused marital arguments. I’ve gently enlightened male bosses. I’ve called women on seductive behaviors to manipulate bosses.

The feminist movement seems to be dormant these days. All the opportunities we marched for are here, yet young women today tolerate being called “ho’s” and “bitches”. Despite a plethora of birth control, abortions and illegitimate births are on the rise. There's absolutely no excuse for it. A woman must be responsible for her own fertility. And abortion is not to be taken lightly or casually used as birth control.

Psychologists document a steady increase in “battered girlfriend” syndrome where young women are being controlled by guys they are just dating! They all need to read The Feminine Mystique, because Betty said, one generation must teach the next.

Fond farewell Betty and Coretta, I’ll see you on the other side.

Muslim Cartoons ; It's about time!

"I gotcha jihad right here baby...."

I can't believe the Muslims, who want the rest of the world to see them as peaceful and rational people are rioting over cartoons! By rioting, they are validating everyone fears that they are uncivilized, fanatical nutcases! A Danish newspaper publishes 12 cartoons (one above) that they don't like, and for that there are riots all over the world?

These people need to lighten up! Neither the Christian or Jewish world riots or goes crazy when Islamic newspapers run anti-Christian (example from a Muslim publication of Jesus cuddling a bomb) or anti-Jewish cartoons. What... they can make fun of Jesus, Moses, the Pope and anyone they like in the Judeo-Christian world and we can't make fun of Muhammed? Guess again Mr Urban Turban...

I think it's time the Muslims had a little quid pro quo. You get the respect you give.

I know that Christians engaged in brutal Crusades to cleanse the world of the infidel for over 100 years in anticipation of Christ's return at the first millenium in the Christian calendar. I know that as the Islamic calendar approaches it's first millenia, Muslim's are doing the same thing. Their crusades to purify the world of infidel are called Jihads, but it's the same mission.

But the Crusades were fought with swords on horseback. Jihads are fought with serious bombs and sophisticated weapons that can kill far more than a bunch of knights on horseback. The world is just too grown up for this nonsense..... we can't have Crusades or Jihads anymore and that's just the way it has to be.

Christ didn't come back at the thousand year mark and Muhammed isn't coming back at the thousand mark either, so just get a grip on yourself Muslims. If your spiritual growth is contigent on murder, than you're no better than the Crusaders who thought the same thing. There's no such thing as a holy handgrenade. The Hindu's, the Buddhists, the Jews and the Christians have all figured this out, so please try to catch up with the rest of the class.

The Muslims, whom I once respected, are like petulant children to me now. They want their turn to slaughter the infidel just because the Christians had their turn first. I know the Muslims are still pissed off about the Crusades because September 11, 1529 was the day the Christians, in the Battle of Vienna, drove the Muslims decisively out of Europe. Naturally they picked that date to make their big comeback...and I haven't forgotten the images of the Muslims celebrating the 3000 dead Americans or the Palestinians urinating on the American flag on Sept 11, 2001.

As far as all the furor about these cartoons is concerned, there's a saying among New York Italians that is very appropo here....

"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke..."

The Fray over Frey

Just like everything else in life.....there are rules for lying.

The author James Frey lied in his best selling book “A Million Little Pieces”. Oprah Winfrey did the best thing she could when she realized she was duped. She acknowledged it and asked for pardon, which was duly granted because she didn't waste any time asking for it.

Americans can handle the truth, whatever it is, and wherever it takes us, but we hate deceit. Deceit is a specific type of lie that embezzles our loyalty, sympathy, or money under false pretenses. For this, Americans will either kill you or put you in the Whitehouse.

Deceit is not to be confused with other types of lying. Example, if Frey had lied about his IQ, no one would care because we had no investment in it. It’s still a lie, but it doesn’t cost us anything either way, which puts it in the “white lie” category. Frey’s mistake was putting down in writing, facts that were easily disproved; like saying he was in jail for 87 days when it turned out to be 3 hours.
Lesson #1: Don’t put lies on paper....unless you attach someone else’s name to it!

Lying is not terrible, deceit is. We’ve all had to lie our asses off at some point in our lives to prevent a crisis. I have a clear memory of lying to a boss for a coworker to prevent a big problem for her. I hated doing it and I let her know later. But I lied so well, the boss reassigned the task to me!
Lesson #2: When speaking of things of which you have absolutely no knowledge, you must sound completely calm and certain.

Lying to family and loved ones is essential to familial harmony. These are what I call the ‘pink fuzzy lies’. If your hubby wants to know if you still think he’s “a hunka hunka burnin’ love”, the answer must always be yes. Just as he must never mention weight gain, new hair color, foo foo bed pillows, et. al. To all these, his answer must be, “I love it!”
Lesson #3: If you love me, tell me pink fuzzy lies.
Addendum; this does not extend to any lies told to cover broken commandments. Those lies fall in the deceit category and are usually very expensive.

Teenagers lie as a rule, but for some reason, parents feel compelled to respond with the truth.
LIE: “Sorry about the car, Dad. Tommy was driving without my permission.”
TRUTH: “That’s gonna cost me $800 to repair, son.”
LIE: “I’m really sorry. I’ll pay for the damage. I’ll get a part time job after school.”
TRUTH: “No son, just get good grades and don’t let anyone else but you drive the car.”
LIE: “I promise, Dad. I love you. You’re a great guy.”
Lesson #4: You only have to give as much truth as you get.

There’s a Turkish saying, “He who tells the truth had better have one foot in a stirrup.” The truth must only be told sparingly and with great care. Breaking someone’s delusion can be very painful. I have a really pretty size 14, Diane von Furstenburg, bathing suit in my underwear drawer. It’s been there for more than 20 years and still has the Neiman’s tag on it. If I need to hear any truth about that, I’ll let you know.
Lesson #5: Truths and lies can live peacefully side by side.

There’s a French saying, “In goes the wine, out comes the truth.” This is so true - and sometimes it’s a good thing, like if you need to know who’s in their will. But it can be a bad thing, like if they ask to use your cell phone to cancel the hit they put out on you.
Lesson #6: When using a martini to uncover a lie, be careful not to choke on the olive of truth.

I was talking with a great gal named Meghan, the other day. Meghan was telling me about her grandmother from Ireland who lived to be 92. I said, “She must’ve had great stories.” And she responded, “Yea, and they got better every time she told ‘em”. Now, was her sainted grandmother lying? Never! The Irish don’t lie. We just decorate the truth a little each time we tell it.

Which brings us back to Mr. Frey, which I think is an Irish name... Mr. Frey just lost his way. If he’d have kept his addiction story in a bottle of Bushnell's, it would have gotten better with time and Oprah and I wouldn’t be mad at him.
Lesson #7 Truth is in the ear of the beholder.