Chocolate Tax?

Easter Form 1040

Saturday, April 13, somewhere in America...

“Margaret, you can’t dye Easter eggs here. I need this table to do taxes.”
“You should’ve had the taxes done already, I need this table to dye eggs.”
“This is the only table and I need it for taxes. Taxes take precedence over Easter eggs.”
“Not to me and three kids it doesn’t. See the line in the middle of the table? You stay on your side, we’ll stay on ours.”
“Be careful with those cups of dye, will ya? I don’t want anything on these forms.”
“Okay kids, after we dip the eggs, let’s put them on the paper towels to catch the drips.”
“HOLY---! Margaret! The egg rolled over the 1099’s! Now they’re purple!”
“The table’s not level. Remember I told you that.”
“Yea, yea.... gimme some paper... I’ll fold a wedge and stick it under this leg... there.... no more eggs over the line, okay?”
“Okay, we’ll try. “
“And keep it down.”
“They’re kids, Joe. We’re doing the Easter eggs, they’re going to make noise.”
“Isn’t there some religious teaching about dying eggs in silence?”
“I don’t think there’s anything in the Bible that covers egg dying, Joe. I think that’s in your thin book series...Activities I’ve Done With My Children.”
“HEY! HEY! NO THROWING EGGS, GUYS! Margaret, make them stop that!”
“Okay, settle down, no throwing eggs! BRIAN!”
“OH @&#$)!! Margaret! Perfect! That egg just hit the 1040, and it’s my last one! Now it has a pink stripe and yolk on it. Get me a tissue.. geez... “
“Just wipe it off. The IRS doesn’t care if they get a return with a pink stripe, as long as they get the money. Besides, it’s their own fault for scheduling April 15th so close to Easter.”
“It’s an IRS tradition Margaret, they schedule April 15th around this time every year....”
“Well they should check the calendar first. Tax day should not collide with Easter.”
“Pass me a chocolate bunny.”
“Okay.”
“How come you got solid ones? I hate solid bunnies. Like trying to bite through rebar.”
“I’ll get you a knife.”
“No, then I’ll have little chocolate shavings all over. Next time get hollow bunnies.”
“I get what’s on sale, Joe.”
“Well find hollow bunnies on sale next year....the ones with the blue candy eyes...”
“Yellow bow or pink bow?”
“Don't start Margaret, just get the hollow ones. Everybody keep quiet. Color your eggs quietly or the Easter Bunny won't come.”
"Nice Joe. I can't tell you how much fun it is co-parenting with you."


Friday, April 21, in an IRS office....

“Oh man, Tom! This one is a real stinker....damn egg yolks. How are we supposed to get these returns done with all these egg smears and color streaks?”
“I don’t know what’s worse, Bob, the ones with the egg stink or the ones with the watercolor abstracts on them.”
“We can’t keep doing this. We have to come up with a solution.”
“Management is on it. They’re either banning Easter from April or moving the eggs and bunnies stuff to another holiday. They’re thinking of Memorial Day. Start a new tradition of dying eggs red, white and blue. And have chocolate flags.”
“How can they pull that off?”
“Hey Bob, we’re the IRS, the only government agency that audits itself. We can do anything we want. Shouldn’t take long to push an new bill through Congress making the change official. No more tie dyed Tax forms.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to change the tax deadline date to February or May to avoid the Easter collision?”
“We’re the Internal Revenue Service, Bob. We’re not here to serve the people.”
“I’m sorry Tom, what was I thinking?”
“It’s the sulfur fumes from the eggs. Happens to the best agents.”