The Untuckables

The Untuckables

I live on an island. There are hundreds of islands off of both coasts of the Unitied States. Some have bridges, but most use ferries.

One of our ferry's has a new ticket system. It used to be that you exchanged money for a nice 3”x 4” postcard paper ticket (I scanned an actual ticket above) with the date and your trip choices punched out. Now they’re testing a new system, with a computerized handheld ticket machine about the size of a small tissue box, which is appropriate because it prints out a tissue thin ticket. If it were any thinner, it would be spray....

I watched the tickettaker punch in the codes for a round trip and then use a separate little printer on his belt to print out the tiny 2” square ticket. It took longer for him to enter the codes and wait for the ticket to be printed than it used to take to hand over cash and get a torn off ticket with your change. What’s going to happen when these little electronic machines gets hit with salt spray? Or are dropped? Not that either of those two things would happen on a ferry...

But here’s the real problem.... the tiny tickets!

Everyone on Shelter Island has a specific spot where they tuck their ferry ticket. Most people tuck it above the driver’s window where the frame joins the headliner. Some have elastic straps on their sun visors and tuck it there. Everybody has a spot and can ticket tuck by feel, in the dark, half asleep, while holding hot coffee, while arguing, anything, but the ticket has to be big enough and stiff enough to tuck. These new small, flimsy ones are untuckable tickets.

They wouldn’t tuck in my usual spot, so I had to drive with one hand while I searched for alternative ticket tucking locations. I’m an experienced ticket tucker, but I couldn’t secure this ticket anywhere. Plus, I could see that from my handling, the print — with my round trip fare on it — was smearing. It finally ended up in my wallet. Then I had to dig it out for the return trip.

But the problem is even bigger than that. You see, loose ferry tickets in the car serve a multitude of purposes in Island life:

You can write a note on a ferry ticket and wedge it in someone’s house door or car door, or leave it under the windshield wiper.

If it’s a long note, you can put a “1”, “2”, “3”, at the top of each ticket. You could write a novel if you have enough tickets.

You can write short grocery lists on the back of tickets.

In desperation, you can use the corner of a ferry ticket as a toothpick.

I have written absence excuses on the back of ferry tickets for the school because the nice note I wrote is still on the kitchen table.

You can play three games of ‘tic tac toe’ with bored kids on the back of each ticket.

As you’re driving and hear something on the radio you want to remember, you reach for a ferry ticket and pen and the ticket is just the right size to lay on the center of the steering wheel and write while you drive.

A ferry ticket can flatten and remove spiders from the car.

All of my bookmarksers are ferry tickets.

I asked a fellow school mom for an easy recipe she mentioned. She gave it to me on the back of a ferry ticket while we were in the parking lot.

It's not uncommon here to get in your car and find a note written on a ferry ticket waiting for you on the dashboard.

We can amuse ourselves on the ferry by looking at the shapes of the punches.

The old tickets could survive rain or coffee spills, but not the new ones. Three rain drops and you will be handing the ticket taker a lump of mush for a return ticker.

I know there’s no stopping progress. I know that computers make our lives better. I know that a computerized ticket is better for me than a tear off, I guess. I know all this, but I will sure miss those multipurpose ferry tickets.

Did I mention you can wallpaper with ferry tickets?