Mother's Day: Priceless

Drive to the beach with kids: gas $1.00
Equipment for Beach: blanket, towels, cooler, soda’s, sandwiches, sunscreen, beach toys, umbrella, chair, book you won’t get to read, sunglasses $400
Your toddler gleefully putting a shell she picked in your hand, priceless.

Drive to restaurant: gas $1.00
Mother’s Day Lunch with friends who are real mothers: $40
Making detailed plans to escape to Vegas without hubbies and kids: priceless.

Reminding boss Mother’s Day is coming: $0
Ordering flowers sent to his mother for him so he doesn’t look like a fool: $150.
Him knowing you saved his ass again and he owes you big time: priceless.

Cost of pregnancy test: $15
Cost of making a nice dinner at home so you can tell him the news: $80
Look on his face when you tell him that, not only are you pregnant, but you’re sure he’s the father: priceless.

Cost of materials for your Mother’s Day card in your fourth graders art class: $1
Time it took him to make it: half hour.
Look in his eyes when you carry it in your purse and show it to everyone: priceless.

Cost of four roses bushes for Mother’s Day: $150
Time to plant them: 2 hours
Being attacked in the shower by a happy wife: priceless.

Cost of Dr Spock Baby Care book: $4.50
Cost of telephone call home: $1.00
Hearing your daughter say, “Mom, I can’t find it in the book. What do I do now?” : priceless.

Sentimental Mother’s Day card $3.50
Time it took for your teenage son to choose it: one tenth of a second
Reading the card out loud in front of as many of your son’s peer’s as you can manage: priceless.

Sentimental Mother’s Day card, one dozen roses: $75
Time it took your husband to choose card: five tenths of a second.
Reading the card over and over again in private and crying: priceless.

Stupid "humorous" Mother’s Day card and one crummy rose $10
Time it took your husband to choose card: three minutes.
Look of "enlightenment" on his face as he ducks the flying lasagna pan: priceless.

Sentimental Mother’s Day card, one dozen long stem roses, one romantic dinner: $300
Money he gave you for new dress, shoes, salon nails and hair: $800
Look of shock on his face when you say, “Absolutely anything you want, anyway you want it tonight,” : priceless.

Cost of ambulance to Emergency Room: $1000
Cost of cardiac workup on your husband: $12,000
Look on his face when he turns to you and says, “Yea, baby, but it was worth it...” : priceless.