Two Million - Robbed!

Man robbed of $2 million bank withdrawal
Reuters Nov. 24, 2009
TAIPEI (Reuters) – A man in Taiwan was robbed of more than $2 million in cash that he had just withdrawn from the bank...Three masked gunmen robbed the 50-year-old victim in the southern city of Tainan, logging the highest-value robbery in city history...The gunmen approached the victim..., as he drove from the bank to his watch shop nearby, ..
Police are looking for the three men while advising people in the 769,000-population city to be more vigilant. "We're putting out a notice on public safety, telling citizens that we're ready stand beside them for protection as they use the bank.”

This story would have gone so differently on Shelter Island.

“Did you get the money from the bank, Joe? We should have at least five thousand for the trip.”
“Yeah. I took out some extra too.”
“How much?”
“I took out two million, Jean. I went to the bank in the Hamptons because I knew they wouldn’t have that much cash on the Island.”
“Im sorry, honey. Say that again.”
“I took out two million. I thought, just once in our lives, we should go for broke.”
“Joe, if you took out two million, we are broke.”
“Actually, that statement is truer than you realize. You better sit down.”
“Okay, I’m sitting.”
“Maybe take a Xanex.”
“You’re scaring me, Joe. What happened?”
“Three guys jumped me as I came out of the bank. They got all the money.”
“I don’t need a Xanex, I need a gun.”
“Jean, you can’t shoot yourself over money!”
“I’m not going to shoot myself over money, I’m going to shoot you, and yes I can. We don’t even have two million...”
“I maxed out our credit lines and credit cards, cashed our CD’s. I just wanted this to be a really memorable trip for us. We never get off the Island and how many other chances will we have to get to Atlantic City?”
“So, you were robbed of all the money we had, all the money we saved and all the money we could borrow.”
“I’m so glad you’re taking this so calmly, honey. I was sure you’d be furious.”
“Relax, Joe, I’m way past furious. I’m past irate, mad, annoyed, cross, vexed, irritated, indignant, irked; enraged, incensed, raging, fuming, seething, choleric, outraged; livid, foaming at the mouth, doing a slow burn, steamed up, in a lather, fit to be tied, seeing red; sore, bent out of shape, ticked off, teed off, and PO'd. I should be entering homicidal rage in the next ten seconds. Please call the Island police.”
“They can’t do anything for you. We were robbed, that’s the whole story. The locals can’t do anything.”
“They can keep me from killing you, Joe.”
“Jean, Jeannie, honey, you’re talking crazy. You’re just upset. We’ll get through this together. Why are you taking out the iron frying pan? That’s for camping. Jeannie, put it down honey. I’m your husband, you can’t kill me!”
“I get $100,000 in life insurance, Joe. It will help me start a new life.”
“They won’t pay on a homicide, Jean!”
“Oh yes they will! The agent is a woman. I bet she’ll give me double indemnity after you fall on this frying pan and die of a head injury!”