Men hate Valentine’s Day. They know they have to spend extra money and put on a little “I Love You” show in order to either attain or maintain domestic bliss. They must attempt once again, to answer every woman’s perpetual question, “How much do you love me and why isn’t it more?”
Candy and flowers does the job off-island, but on-island, men, well, smart men, put in a little extra effort. They get flowers, candy and...
A shell gift. How can I shell you how much I love you? A candle with embedded shells, a new shell napkin holder, a line up of new shells on her dashboard. Shells get into your blood here. I would bet everyone here has something - bedsheets, towels, mousepads - with shells on it. Matter of fact, if you don’t like shell or nautical motifs in general, don’t live here. You’d have a better chance of avoiding snow at the North Pole than nautical designs on Shelter Island.
Fresh layer of beach sand in her car. Nothing says, “I love you” Island style like vacuuming out her car and putting in a fresh layer of fragrant beach sand. When she gets in the car, she will smell Spring coming. And maybe, for a topper, a fresh scoop of sand in the cigarette tray for her butts. It’s the little things that touch a woman’s heart.
New beach towels. I don’t care how well you take care of beach towels, they always love beat up by the end of their first season. And the rule is, you can’t retire them to the rag bag until you get new ones. Yep, new beach towels - at least four that match - would be an extremely good gift on the Island. I’d go as far as to say that new towels would nearly eclipse the need to buy flowers - I said nearly - but you could get away with a small bouquet at least.
Fast food from any popular franchise. Since there’s no McDonald’s or Taco Bell or any wicked but delicious food here, any fast food from off-island is a big treat. A Big Mac can bring tears to your eyes. Give your gal a Whopper for Valentine’s Day and you can forgo the candy. If you spring for the whole meal, with a biggie sized coke and fries - and a toy - you can even forgo the flowers. Yes, although fast food is the crack cocaine of the nutritional world, it’s just as addictive and hard to find here.
Dinner at a nice local eatery. Eating in local restaurants gives other Islanders a chance to see that you are still together. It also lets you see who is together or apart. And if a local is dating an off-islander, it gives you a chance to see the foreigner and pass judgement. The only reason an Islander would bring an foreigner here is to evaluate how they might react to living in captivity. If you hear them ask the question, “So what are we doing after dinner? What’s the night life here like?” And they aren’t satisfied with the answer, “Everything’s closed, but we can rent a movie and watch it at my place,”, then they won’t be able to stand life on the rock.
Ferry tickets. A unique gift that says, “I love you” and “Get lost” at the same time. Ferry is another word for freedom here. You just can’t leave home without it...
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