Fourth of July 2011

Red, Right, and Blue

Up or down, good or bad, through thick or thin, it’s great to be an American. Most people I know still choke up when they hear the Star Spangled Banner because in spite of everything, we love who we are, and we love our country.

Now, if we can only pull away from the political correctness that threatens to eradicate any individual opinions that stray too far from what is acceptable. Ironically, political correctness jeopardizes the freedom of speech it was built on. People have confused acceptance with approval. We all have the right to be accepted for who we are, however, we do not have the right to demand approval. I think that’s where people get in trouble. For example, the Catholic Church is taking a PC beating because it won’t get in line and support liberal causes. They acknowledge and accept changes in society, and they have the right to try to change them from within, but they don’t have to approve of these social changes, ever. We seem to have forgotten that. Today, the church is being hounded more than the Klu Klux Klan. Recently a movement has started to outlaw circumcision. So now the PC machine will take on the Jewish community in America. And who’s next? Will the PC machine to allowed to roll over every belief that doens’t match theirs until all individualism is crushed? Nah, that would be fascism, and that could never happen here...

That’s the kind of thing I’m thinking of this Fourth of July because each family is a microcosm of America. There’s a full range of political opinions in every family. There’s always one couple who seems to do everything right and are secretly smug about it. There’s always family members we want to kill, wound or maim because they are in the red zone on the Idiot Scale. And there’s always one family member who seems to be blessed with an extraordinary amount of luck that they don’t deserve. Still, everyone gets invited to the barbecue and all is peaceful until the liquor hits, or somebody brings up who owes them money, whichever comes first. Then, it’s every man for himself.

“John, you didn’t invite your Uncle Phil did you?”
“He’s my uncle. How could I not invite him?”
“Yeah, but that whole thing where he gets drunk and tells people he can talk to animals is creepy.”
“No, that’s Uncle Benny. Uncle Phil is the one who has to stay 100 yards away from schools.”
“Oh, he’s the flasher?”
“Yup, he’s the family flasher. But he’s really good on the barbecue. “
“Well keep the one who talks to the animals away from Mrs. Whiskers. I don’t know what he said to her last time he was here, but she wouldn’t eat and got very depressed afterwards. I had to take her to the vet and get a prescription for medical catnip for her.”
“Did it work?”
“Like a charm. She’s relaxed all the time and eats everything in sight.”
“What about your cousin, Moon Duck, is she still on that vegetarian kick?”
“No, it’s worse, she’s a vegan now. I bought her a bag of organic dirt. She can grow something and eat it.”
“That’s will take time.”
“So does figuring out what she’ll eat and cooking it correctly with the pot handle pointing towards Mecca or something.”
“What about Joe and Peggy? You did invite them right? They always bring a lot of extra beer.”
“Of course I invited them. They’re my only normal relatives. And John, please remind your father not to show anyone his heart surgery scars during dinner.
“Okay. I love Fourth of July. It’s fun to have everyone together.”
“It sure is, babe.”