Answer Me!

People who ignore you when you speak are being passive aggressive. When someone asks a question, shares some info, or gives direction - do not remain silent and leave the speaker to wonder whether or not you heard them until they finally repeat the question and you yell back, “I heard you the first time!” They would know this if you had ANSWERED them the first time and would not repeat the message.

I hate passive aggressive behavior, it’s cowardly, sneaky, mean spirited, and never leads to resolution, it just further angers the other person. There’s three good ways to deal with passive aggressive behavior: 1} Pretend you didn’t notice what they did or it was insignificant to you. If you don’t get upset then all their efforts to get under you skin were in vain. 2} Get evidence and confront them in front of other people. They fear confrontation - that’s why they’re passive aggressive - and will be mortified to be confronted in public. It will always end with them screaming their denial as they tear out of the driveway, but hey, they’ll think twice (hopefully) before messing with you again. 3} This third option is unique to the Island; feed the rumor mill.

Shelter Island, like most small towns, has five or six Town Criers, people who know everything that’s going on everywhere. They can outwitter Twitter. They know who’s sleeping with whom, who’s going into foreclosure, who’s pregnant - and they can tell you the paternity more accurately than any test! If you really want to get back at someone, sidle up to a Town Crier and casually let it slip that...

“I guess you heard that Mike has herpes simplex - and duplex since it’s in two areas....”
“What do you think Joel’s gonna do with all the money he won at the casino? $100,000 jackpot, that is impressive. I guess all the people he owes are gonna be happy.”
“Do you think Joe’s drinking again?”
“I’m worried about Greg. Is it true he’s dating someone young enough to be his daughter? Every time I see him, he’s holding in his stomach so tight I think his belly button is gonna get caught on his backbone.”
“I saw Mel’s truck in Peggy Smith’s driveway three times this week. You don’t think......nah.”
“Well, Bill sure got a lot of bluefish last week, I counted five.......what? Bluefish season doesn’t start for another two weeks? Well, don’t say nothin’, okay?”
“Sam’s taking viagra. I saw the label when the pharmacist handed it to him. I can’t imagine what for, Nancy’s in Colorado for a month visiting their daughter with the new baby.”
“I saw John was repainting the front of his new riding mower this morning, had blue paint on it.......what? Lou’s new car is blue and it has a dent in it? You don’t think John.... nah.....”

And then there’s the coup de grace, the worst rumor an Islander can start, “I heard he’s trying to resurrect the idea of building a bridge to Sag Harbor.”