November has started. We have three paychecks left until Christmas, four until the credit card bills for Christmas arrive. We are officially in Holiday Mode. Here is your check list from now until Thanksgiving:
1. First order of business, check how many loyalty points you have at your grocery store to ascertain whether or not you qualify for the free turkey.
2. Watch cooking shows for new Thanksgiving recipes, you have to write them down or print them from the website; either way a hard copy has to go into the Thanksgiving section of your cookbook.
3. Start making a list of ingredients to shop for. Also, start a Christmas/Chanukah gift list.
4. Try to recall where you put the decorations. You took great care to put them where you could find them easily this year, so think hard - where would you have put boxes so they were out of the way, but easy to access.
5. Finish your ingredients list and plan to shop the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, like everyone else.
6. By now, you’ve cleaned out two closets and found the items you couldn’t locate for Fourth of July, so make sure to isolate those items in a marked box and store them in a safe place where they’ll be out of the way, but easy for access next July.
7. Plan your off-island shopping trip. You can authorize yourself to buy at least one new kitchen machine, like a new crockpot with the new SMA (Save My Ass) feature that lists restaurants that deliver in your area if you screw up the potroast. It also allows you to program in friend’s numbers; your crockpot will call your friend and tell her to get there quick with anything you can put on the table that will save your face. Crockpot bonding is a high level of female bonding.
8. Give it up, you’re never going to find the box with the Harvest / Thanksgiving decorations and they are too old anyway. Best to add new decorations to your off-Island shopping list. You’ll find the Thanksgiving decorations box when you’re looking for the Easter box next Spring.
9. It’s now a week before Thanksgiving and it’s time to go off-Island and overspend. You will return exhausted, but triumphant. This will finally be the Thanksgiving you’ve dreamed of because you planned ahead and did everything right according to Oprah AND Dr. Phil. You may take off one day to charge up for the big push.
10. It’s five days before Thanksgiving and you realize you don’t have all the ingredients your new recipes call for, you need Cream of Tartar, fresh mint, red pepper flakes and several other littles. However, you didn’t put the new recipes in your cookbook right away and now you can’t find them. If you can’t find the recipes, why buy anymore of the expensive ingredients?
11. Cleaning the house took two days, so it’s now two days before Turkey Day. You found the old Thanksgiving decorations under your stack of winter sweaters, in an easily accessible place, in a box marked, “THANKSGIVING DECOR”. No wonder you couldn’t find them.
12. You’ve given up on the new recipes, which your husband wasn’t going to like anyway. You content yourself with new decorations and at least you scored a new crockpot, or mixer, so the season wasn’t lost.
13. The Wednesday before T-Day, you prepare and cook all you can ahead of time. Tomorrow you will put on a wonderful, traditional spread. You and your girlfriends and the kids and grandkids, will sit around the table and enjoy eating and conversation. The men will be where they always are on Thanksgiving.
14. Resolve to remember next November not to get all excited about putting on a great spread for you husband and expect him to shower you with compliments. Realize that even if you stuffed the bird with caviar, the men were just going to pile everything on a plate and drag it to the living room to watch that G-damed football game anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment