“Blue moon.... you saw me standing alone....”
So I was walking to my car when I felt it hit...an acorn planted itself firmly in my chignon. Couldn’t have landed more perfectly if it had be scripted. That’s the third time I have been nearly impaled by acorns falling from far above me from tall Oak trees. I learned that the indians called this time of year, the Moon of the Popping Trees, the time of year when Oak trees attempt to kill people with acorns traveling at Mach One.
All day and all night for the past few weeks, I will suddenly hear what sounds like a gunshot as an acorn from forty feet up decides to explode off the tree and attempt to impale itself into a host body.....just like in Aliens. I can see it now... I’ll be having coffee at a restaurant when suddenly I’ll fall to the floor and a sapping will spring out of my chest.
I checked www.geocities.com/thunderingheart1/moons_seasons.html and found some other names for months from assorted native american tribes. Not only are all of the names self-explanatory, but most are still accurate today!
JANUARY- Sun Has Not Strength to Thaw; Old Fellow Spreads Bush Moon (well, what else is there to do in January to stay warm?); Snow Drifts into Tepee Moon (aka, Who Left the Flap Open? Moon); Thin Moon
FEBRUARY- Moon of Melting Ice; Sucker Moon (?); Frost Sparkling in the Sun; Boney Moon; Huddle Together Moon
MARCH- Catching Fish Moon; Snow Crust Moon; Buffalo Dropping Their Calves; Sore Eye Moon; Wind Moon
APRIL - Wind Breaks Moon; Broken Snowshoe Moon; Ice Breaking in the River; Frog Moon; Plant in Holes Moon; Geese Lay Eggs
MAY- When Women Weed Corn Moon; Horses Get Fat Moon
JUNE- Green Corn Moon; Strawberry Moon; When the Hot Weather Begins; Bulls Hunt Cows Moon; Fish Spoils Fast Moon
JULY- Raspberry Moon; When the Buffalo Bellows; Ducks Molt Moon;
AUGUST- Corn Tassel Moon; Young Ducks Fly Moon
SEPTEMBER- Snow Goose Moon; Scarlet Plum Moon; Acorns Fly Moon
OCTOBER- White Frost Moon; Moon of the Popping Trees; Striped Gopher Looks Back Moon; Harvest Moon; Long Hair Moon; Time of Poverty Moon
NOVEMBER- Freezing Moon; Hunting Moon; Deer Rutting Moon; Time of Much Poverty Moon; Turkey Moon
DECEMBER- Snow Moon; Wolves Run Together Moon; Young Fellow Spreads Bush Moon (some things never change....)
I rather like the idea of months having descriptive names rather than some old roman names. I thought of a few possibilities...
January: Moon of Bills and Weeping; Big Party Moon; Women Throw Off Blouses Moon; Hangover Moon; Aspirin Moon; Moon of the EPT's
February: Big Snow No Go Moon; Chocolate Heart Moon; Jigsaw Puzzles Moon
March: Wind Pushes Eyes Back in Head Moon; Chickens Lay Same Eggs Twice Moon
April: Small Flowers Sweet Air Moon; Bunnies Lays Eggs Moon; Umbrella Moon; Moon of Arthritis; Advil Moon
May: Children Groaning Moon; Moon of Cleaning Closets; Moon of Redecoration; Martha Stewart Moon; Moon of Husbands Painting
June: Tourists Coming Moon; Gun Cleaning Moon; Bridal Moon; Honey Moon; Graduation Moon; Moon of the Poor Fathers
July: Boating Moon; Fireworks Moon; Big Beer Moon; Moon of Nagging Children
August: Humidity Moon; Homicide Moon; Ice Cream Moon; Moon of Christmas Catalogs
September: Tourists Leave Moon; Leaves Leave Moon; Children Back to School Moon; Moon of Parental Happiness; Moon When Children from Big Party Moon Come
October: Moon of the Attacking Acorns; Moon of Acorn in Bun; Moon When Christmas Decorations Appear; Asthmatic Moon; Baseball Moon; Moon of Silly Costumes; Moon of Giving Candy; Moon of Rich Dentists
November: Turkey Moon; Stuffed Moon; Rutting Deer Moon; Run Over Deer Moon; Moon of More Catalogs; Football Moon; Moon of Women Hiding Remote; Moon When Women Die
December: Moon of the Flying Deer; Moon of the Moving Belt Notch; Moon of Mastercard; Toys ‘R’ Us Moon; Neimans Moon; Moon of the Kiting Checks
A blue moon is a second full moon in the same month. “Pow, zoom, to the moon Alice!” means you have an imminent domestic crisis. “Goodnight Moon” is a book you read repeatedly until your brain wanes into jello. Moonshine is what you need after your 100th reading of Goodnight Moon. Moon Pies go good with Moonshine. Avoid Moonshine and moonlight together or you could wax sentimental and end up with another five year commitment to Goodnight Moon!
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