Alzheimer's Walk

Memory Walks and Speaks too

Two roads diverged in a wood. Mother took the one less traveled by, and we haven't seen her since.

There's an Alzheimer's organization that is sponsoring "Memory Walks" nationwide to benefit their organization. I'm not so sure a bunch of mostly middle-aged people going on a memory walk to benefit Alzheimer's is such a good idea. Most of us will have forgotten our purpose for movement in five steps.

"Why am I in the hall closet? What the hell was I looking for? All right, let me think, I was in the garage getting - I forget - and then I heard the phone. So I went into the kitchen to answer the phone. Didn't get there fast enough and they didn't leave a message. Checked the call back number, didn't recognize the number, so I didn't call them back. Then I saw the cable bill on the counter. I opened the bill and decided to write a check, but my handbag was in the car, so decided to pay online. Why am I looking in the closet? Okay, so I went to the computer and went online. Before I decided to pay my cable bill, I read my e-mails. Got an email from my sister Sandy, who is coming to visit next weekend. Right, now I'm on the trail. I decided to check the status of the extra bedroom, so I got up and went to the room - and I decided to change the linen, but air the bed for a few days before I put on fresh linen, so I stripped the bed. I took the linen to the washing machine in the garage and got it started with some other items to be washed. I noticed a lot of towels in the laundry. So I could be looking in this closet to check how many clean towels I have left, or maybe I'm looking for fresh linen for my sister. It has to be one of those two, or both, reasons that I'm here. Yup. I'm looking for towels or linen. That was easy. Who says my memory's shot?"

Shelter Island hosts an annual 5K run, but I really think we should trade that in and sponsor Alzheimer's Memory Walks. It's much safer for the participants. If they drift away mentally, there's only so far they can go before hitting water. This prevents people from suddenly becoming aware of the fact that they have not only drifted off the trail, but are now in a town they don't recognize. Our police could easily do a perimeter check at the end of the day and herd the stragglers to the ferries.

The Memory Walk on Shelter Island:

"Isn't this a gorgeous island, Joan? So perfect for the Memory Walk. I'm so glad you're with me, we can pace each other."

"Hold on, Mary, my cell is ringing. I gotta take this call, it might be Ted, he said he might call. I'm gonna stop by this tree. I'll catch up with you."

"Okay, I'll be on the path. It's marked pretty well. Don't take too long."

"Hi Ted. Which boots - the hiking or the work boots? On the back patio, I had to hose off the dog poop, remember? Well, that's where I left them. No, I'm just going to walk while we talk. I don't want to get too far behind Mary. Maybe I moved them into the garage then, I can't remember. This is exactly why I prefer you to manage your own possessions. If you can't find something, you hound me and get mad at me for not knowing exactly where all your stuff is at all times. I have my own stuff to keep track of, plus the kids' stuff. Next time, hose the dog crap off your own boots and you'll know what you did with them. Well, if they aren't on the patio or in the garage then I don't know where they are. You'll have to look for them yourself. Check with Vinnie first, he wears the same size shoe as you now and maybe he grabbed your boots. I don't know! I just suggested you check. Where the hell am I? No, I'm talking to myself. I was walking on this trail for the Memory Walk, and there were people all around, but now I don't see anyone. I don't know, I'm on a path in the big creepy woods. Ted, I just told you - I'm in the woods, there's no streets or signs anywhere. Okay, I'll try backtracking. I see a sign, Mashomack Preserve."

Excerpt from the Shelter Island local paper: "The Alzheimer's Memory Walk was a big success! Over 6,000 walkers! Only 16% of the walkers got lost off the trail. All 960 people lost in Mashomack were found by sundown. We look forward to an even bigger event next year!"