Getting Ahead in Life

The Importance of Getting Ahead in Life

Apr 2, 2008 LONDON (Reuters) - Children playing on a Scottish beach discovered a woman's severed head in a plastic bag, police said on Tuesday.

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Any Beach, Shelter Island - two single moms sitting on towels among other single moms, and kids swarming all around.

Mom 1: "My kids love the beach. They love making treasure maps and digging for treasure."

Mom 2: "I know what you mean. My kids are always making castles and digging up weird stuff. I think half of my baking tools and pans are scattered all over this beach."

Mom 1: "Mine too. Somewhere on this beach is my best spring loaded cake pan. It made the best castle foundation, you know. I lost my spring pan, but last year the kids found me a really nice blue silicone ladle with a matching baking sheet. Obviously part of a set."

Mom 2: "Somebody's missing that."

Mom 1: "I know. I always worry somebody will be over for a visit and recognize something in my kitchen that was theirs."

Mom 2: "That's every Mom on Shelter Island."

Mom 1: "Look at the kids, they're all congregating. Somebody found something."

Mom 2: "Don't get up, they'll drag it over here in a minute. Last week my kids found a conch filled with beach glass and hermit crabs. We had to take it home and put it in the sink so the hermit crabs could have water."

Mom 1: "They can't live in fresh water."

Mom 2: "The kids don't know that. If I told them that, then I'd have to bring home a bucket of salt water along with everything else. The hermit crabs lived a few hours and by then the kids had lost all interest in them. I rinsed off the beach glass and shells and put them in yet another jar somewhere in the house."

Mom 1: "I think I have five jars of 'beach treasures' in my house. Off-Island people always think we're nuts. We got jars of sand with glass and parts of crabs and shells and whatever else was on the beach that day."

Mom 2: "Your kids are putting something in your car."

Mom 1: "It's the big find of the day, I'm sure."

Mom 2: "Here they come. Get the sandwiches out."

Kid 1: "I saw it first. I said it's real, but Jacob thinks it's plastic. It's real isn't it Mom?"

Mom 1: "Eat your sandwich with your back to the wind, honey, so the sand doesn't blow on it. I'm sure it's real. We'll rinse it off at home and put it in the living room."

Kid 2: "It's not real. But maybe you could make a lamp with it. My aunt made a lamp with a plastic pumpkin."

Mom 2: "Okay, give me your Juicy Juice boxes. Let's keep the trash under control. You guys can have another hour, then we're going home."

Kid 1: "What if we find more of it?"

Mom 1: "Well, if it's icky, don't touch it."

Kid 1: "But if it's not icky, we can take it home too?"

Mom 1: "Yea, sure."

Mom 2: "Gotta monitor that 'ick' factor. My kids tried to bring home a dead chipmunk they found on the beach once."

Mom 1: "Eeeeew. (calls to her child) It's not a dead squirrel or something, the thing in the car?"

Kid 1: "No Ma, not a squirrel. You wanna see it?"

Mom 1: "Yea. You better bring it here."

Kid 1 brings the package.

Mom 2: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mom 1: "Call 911! Put that down now!"

Mom 2: "Oh my gawd...is it someone we know?"

Mom 1: "Just call 911. KIDS! Get in the car, NOW!"

Kid 1: "But you said we could look for more of the lady if it wasn't too icky. You said we could stay another hour."