Taking Down the Christmas Tree

"It's time, Joe."

"No, Margaret, not till after the Super Bowl."

"We go through this every year. I'm sick of it."

"Well, I'm not. I'm sick of you nagging me about it, Margaret, so stop."

"We only do it once a year and you promised me we'd do it after the New Year."

"But I hate doing it. It's so depressing."

"You have to have a good attitude about it, Joe. I don't look forward to it either, but it has to be done. Everyone has to go through it. Try to think of it in a positive light.

"It takes a whole afternoon, Margaret. That's too long!"

"We can do it faster than that, Joe. We can do it in an hour."

"You mean we used to be able to do it in an hour, when we were a lot younger. Now it takes forever which makes me feel that much sadder about it."

"But it's just once a year Joe, please. We do it and get it over with and everything goes back to normal. You'll feel even worse if we wait 'til after the Super Bowl."

"Why?"

"We're having people over, the guys will laugh at you."

"No they won't. They're probably waiting 'til after the Super Bowl too."

"C'mon, Joe, I'll start stripping..."

"No, don't strip! I can't take it!"

"Joe! Grow up! You're not 12 anymore."

Okay, Margaret. Look, we'll do it before the Super Bowl, but just not today. Let me have just a few more days to prepare myself."

"You're killing me, Joe."

"Yeah, but you love me."

"You promise me? Before the Super Bowl?"

"Yes, I promise, before the Super Bowl."

"Say it, Joe, say the whole thing out loud so there's no backsliding later."

"Okay, fine. I promise we'll take down the tree and put away all the decorations before the Super Bowl. THERE! Are you happy now?"

"Yes. Thank you! You'd understand if you had to vacuum all those needles. It takes at least two months to get every last one."

"Well, I guess a clean house is much more important than my happiness..."

"It won't work, Joe. After 32 years of marriage, my brain is Teflon-coated against guilt."