The TV is full of shows right now about spring cleaning and the popular new trend of getting ever more organized. Seems like the more we develop technological wonders to save time and make our lives simpler, the more receipts, warranties, statements, extended warranty agreements, credit score status print-outs, rental agreements, dental agreements, medical records, insurance payments records, insurance appeals copies, home addresses of insurance executives, Do-It-Yourself Network's "Pipe Bombs You Can Make In Your Kitchen" instructions, we have to keep track of.
If you live on Shelter Island, there's even more to accomplish after a thorough spring cleaning. After you've done all the cleaning the rest of America has done, and marveled at how many potato chips can live in the cushions of a couch, and collected all the change, now you have the Island stuff.
1. Beach sand. Where does it come from, how does it find you even if you haven't been to the beach in six months? Personally, I think it's Gary the Sand Fairy. That's what I've named him. Since no one locks their cars here, Gary goes from car to car at night and pours a half a cup of sand in each car each week, that way, the build up is slow and you hardly notice it until you drop something edible on the floor, pick it up, realize it's covered in sand, and say, "My God, it's covered in sand! How did I get all this sand in my car?" You didn't, it's Gary the Sand Fairy I'm telling you.
Shelter Island beach sand it different from normal sand. Island sand has magnetic properties that allow it to attach to any item of clothing and travel into your house without you knowing it. That's why when you drop an earring or a screw on the carpet and you go digging for it, you discover a secret sand layer deep in your carpet. No vacuum known to man is capable of getting all the sand out of a rug on Shelter Island. You have two choices, you can obsess and struggle to get it all, or you can just say that your house is "green" now and capable of returning to the earth, and if fact, is getting a head start.
2. Home office supplies. Pens, tape, scissors, all disappear at an alarming rate here. Everyone is involved in some community group and travels with these items in their purses, or their wives' purses, and office items that go to a group meeting never seem to find their way home again.
3. Replenish bathing suits and Topsiders. I think my daughter's bathing suits evaporate at the end of each summer. She never seems to have one in spring. Island kids don't wait for summer, my daughter hits the water on the first warm day we get.
4. Ferry tickets. Like air, ferry tickets are everywhere all around us all the time. At least once a year, you have to purge your home of ferry tickets or they'll take over. They're in your handbag, car, all pockets, diaper bags, tool boxes, under all couches, hiding in the cushions of the Lazy Boy, just all over. If you have a business where you can deduct ferry fees for travel, then ferry tickets are deduction gold for you. I can't deduct mine, but I save them all and give them to people who can deduct them - the IRS can't tell who used that ticket, so anyone can use it for a receipt for travel. But, before you throw or give them away, you have to check the back of the tickets. Show me what an Islander writes on the backs of their ferry tickets, and I'll show you their life. I have used mine for grocery lists, phone numbers, directions, school excuses, things I heard on the radio in the car that I want to remember, lunch orders and more. I bet there is not one person on Shelter Island right now who doesn't have with them at this moment a ferry ticket with a note of some kind on the back.
5. Crab, clamming and fishing gear. All crab, clamming and fishing gear is checked in the spring. Anything that must be replaced may be replaced as a priority family item. All gear that must be let go does not go to the Recycle Center - oh no my friend, all crab, clamming and fishing gear, must be taken out to sea, at least 30 feet off shore, and given a proper maritime funeral and burial at sea. It's a tender moment for Island men who must say farewell to a favorite fishing pole, or clam rake. But these are Island men and they are tough. The wakes are traditionally held at the Dory and are very solemn occasions, at least until the third round anyway.
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